"You Look Tired" and Other Annoying Confidence Deflaters People Throw at You

This experience has long left me shaking my head about people who open their mouths and spout off nonsense about the way others look--nonsense that can sometimes have the power to mess with our self esteem, our body image--even our happiness.

I consulted with psychologist and relationship expert Tina Tessina, Ph.D. for some tips on just how to deal with these types of meddlers:

First step: Mean comment about your thighs? Try to "ignore it for a few hours or a day, until the sting has subsided," says Tessina. Then, "stretch yourself a bit, and look at the comment from an objective viewpoint, and see how much truth you think it holds. Above all, be true to yourself, and know that your own good opinion of yourself is most valuable if it is based on truth." In my case: No, my skin wasn't glowing yellow, but maybe I did need a bit of help in the makeup department.

Second step: Let go. "There are a few things you can do to help the criticism 'roll off your back,' she says. "First, use a sense of humor: if you can come up with a clever funny remark that diffuses the criticism, that is always the most effective way to disarm it." If it happens again, she adds, "ignore any negative thing that is said, just treat it as if it didn't happen." So, when your pal comments on the bags under your eyes again, just give her a blank stare. "In this way, you don't reward it, and the other person will eventually stop."

How about you? When's the last time someone said something really annoying/rude about the way you looked? And how did you respond?

Photo: iStock