Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 3 Recap: Did Jon Snow Just Quit?

Before we begin: Spoilers ahead!

I love the opening to Game of Thrones, but if they could send out an email at some point earlier in the day that includes a link to the “Previously on…,” that would save us some time. I need 60 full minutes of GoT and that is severely cutting into it. By the time each show gets rolling it’s 9:12 and I still haven’t seen anyone new stabbed in the trachea. UNACCEPTABLE. So, now that I’ve fixed premium television programming forever, let’s talk about the people who aren’t dead yet. We knew Jon Snow was alive after last week’s “Breathe (2 A.M.)” episode. What we did not know was that the afterlife involved so much core work. That ain’t rigor mortis. Dude is still TIGHT. No excuses for the rest of us. Even if you’re brutally stabbed by four of your brothers and die, you gotta get it in #fitlife.

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After a fun homecoming scene where his friends at Castle Black accuse zombie Jon Snow of having a personality (and a small penis), we’re back to normalish. Later, we see all the men who betrayed Jon, including Olly, hang for their crimes. Right after executing his own murderers, Jon takes off his cloak, hands it to Dolorous Edd, and says, “You have Castle Black. My watch has ended.” Technically, he already died, so his watch is over—but leaving your gig without the customary two weeks notice and just handing over your dirty work polo to a buddy seems a little inconsiderate. Feels like you should at least text HR and see how long you have until your health insurance runs out? Again, not discounting how badass the walkout resignation is, but you don’t want to leave vacation days on the table. That’s silly.

Other cool stuff from the episode we should talk about: