Exactly What to Wear to a "Cocktail Formal" Wedding (Plus, How to Dress for EVERY Other Wedding!)
James Olson
Updated on March 29, 2026
While we were chatting in the comments of this post yesterday, Save the Date reader Lauren_F mentioned that she once got a wedding invite that indicated guests' attire should be "cocktail formal." Her reaction: "Well, what the hell is that?! I know what formal is, I know what cocktail is, but I don't know what cocktail formal is, so I just showed up in jeans and a t-shirt."
Kidding! "Okay, I actually wore a dress."
I agree that "cocktail formal" is a little bizarre! I would take a simple chiffon cocktail dress and jazz it up with some sparkly accessories, like this. (I can't decide if I love or hate the belt. Thoughts?!) And I think I'd try to fashion my hair in some sort of updo. (I'd probably fail, but I'd try!)
Forget Me Knot With Straps from Ivy & Aster, $297. ASOS Bug Buckle Metal Waist Belt, $21.11. Faceted Triple Drop Earrings from New York & Co., $14.95. Lulu Townsend Pump from DSW, $49.95.
Regardless of the attire, if you're in your 20s it's hard to go wrong with a pretty chiffon dress in a muted color. The dress above would work for almost any wedding (except black or white tie) and it has a removable belt and removable straps, which make it extra-versatile.
Here are the rest of my "How to Dress for a Wedding" guidelines. I've shared these before, but they're worth repeating!
White tie is the most clear-cut—and the one you're least likely to see. This is the only time, as a woman, I'd feel obligated to wear a long dress. Guys wear tuxes with white shirts, ties, and vests.
For a black tie wedding, I'm okay with wearing a dressy cocktail dress and nice shoes. (Rory would wear his tux, which—trust me—is super-cute.) The old rules of etiquette said women should wear long dresses, but as long as you're in the friends-of-the-bride-and-groom group—as opposed to the friends-of-the-parents group—I think a respectable, not-too-short short dress is fine.