Demi Lovato on the Cover of Glamour’s March Issue

She admits to me that taking such a dogmatic view—an “all-or-nothing world,” as she calls it—about sobriety confused her. She was making progress on the eating-disorder front by giving herself permission to eat without shame and felt she could be capable of doing the same with substances.

Lovato turned to her recovery case manager, Charles Cook, for advice. “I called him and was like, ‘Something’s not right. I'm living one side of my life completely legalizing and this other side following a program that’s telling me if I slip up, I’m going to die.’”

Cook asked Lovato what she wanted to do, to which she said, “I think I want to try this balance thing in the substance side of my life too.” Her team was worried, she says. “But they were like, ‘She deserves this opportunity to make that choice for herself.’ So I did.”

That last sentence is paramount: Lovato makes clear both in her documentary, and to me, this is a plan for herself—no one else. She doesn’t want people in recovery to hear her approach and think they should also drink in moderation or smoke a joint. “A one-size-fits-all solution does not work for everybody,” she says.

Cook echoes this sentiment in the doc: “Any path that is right for someone else does not mean that it is an effective, meaningful, safe path for you.”

“What I’m encouraging people to do is just make choices for themselves,” Lovato reiterates during our conversation. “Autonomy, for me, is what changed my life.”

That’s autonomy in all areas, including her sexuality. Lovato is queer—“really queer,” she says—and enjoying fully exploring that side of herself. “I know who I am and what I am, but I’m just waiting until a specific timeline to come out to the world as what I am,” Lovato tells me. “I’m following my healers’ timeline, and I’m using this time to really study and educate myself on my journey and what I’m preparing to do.”