Bruce Springsteen's 65th Birthday September 23: Love

"Open your ears, open your hearts. Don't take yourselves too seriously and take yourself as seriously as death itself. Don't worry. Worry your ass off. Have iron-clad confidence. But doubt! It keeps you awake and alert. Believe you are the baddest ass in town and that you suck. It keeps you honest. Be able to keep two completely contradictory ideas alive and well in your heart and head at all times. If it does not drive you crazy, it will make you strong. Stay hard, stay hungry, and stay alive."

The contradictions there are alive in his songs too. His lyrics stir up both the feminine and the feminist in me. When women showed up at all in his earliest records, they were largely one-dimensional Marys, Candys, and Wendys, waiting for some guy in dirty jeans to pick them up for a date. I never wanted to be that girl, but I have been. I've dated lost souls I should have steered clear of, getting caught up in the twisted idea that you must struggle for love. The "Thunder Road" line: "Show a little faith there's magic in the night, you ain't a beauty, but hey, you're all right," rang a little too true. I understood that bad boys always have other places to be. Wanting to save them and be saved myself, I empathized. Oh, Wendy, how you failed me!

Luckily, during his role as my trusted advisor, Springsteen did eventually present some more fitting examples of how a woman ought to be treated: "It's a thin, thin line, but I want you to know I'll walk it for you any time," "I'll work for your love," and "I'll wait for you, should I fall behind, wait for me."

As much as I've seen myself in Bruce's women, I identify equally with aspects of him and some of the men he sings about. They're hard, but hopeful. They're confused, but scrappy. They'll "keep pushin' till it's understood and these Badlands start treating us good." In his Kennedy Center Honors speech for Springsteen, Jon Stewart said, "When you listen to Bruce's music, you aren't a loser. You are a character in an epic poem about losers." I've recognized that loser in myself at times, and I'm drawn to others who do too.

Growing up on Springsteen, I've learned that the search for a way out of loser-land is often where you get to the meat of life. Trusting yourself to navigate the journey after a breakup or disappointment is frustrating but invigorating. There's spirit in the fight and hope on the other side of it. My wish for Springsteen is the same as his wish for us: "Stay hard, stay hungry, and stay alive."