3 Reasons You're Way Hotter Than You Think You Are

Earlier this week I got an email that hit me like a sledgehammer in my Single-ish little heart, and made me truly stop and think. Here's what it said:

I am ugly. This is a fact. I am 18, overweight, and have acne. I want to lose weight, but it's more than laziness holding me back. I'm afraid. What if I still don't like me? What if some guy does ask me out, or worse, what if no one cares? - LSWe hear all the time the beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it's absolutely true, but reading this email made me want to elucidate this point further. Here's my top 3 of the many reasons you are way hotter than you think:

1. "Ugly" and "hot" are not about how closely you approximate Blake Lively's aesthetic.

*They are states of mind. Your aesthetic appeal has much less to do with your makeup, hair, nail polish and skin quality than the things that come out of your mouth and the thoughts in your brain. Successful women are hot. Smart women are hot. Independent women are hot. There is no aphrodisiac like confidence. It's not something that can be taught or learned, but knowing that can be the first step to gaining it. *

2. Skinnier isn't prettier.

When scientists study pure human aesthetics (taking personality out of the mix), there are 2 main currents that unite women's appeal to men: youth and health. When a guy says he loves a woman's full lips, it's because that fullness represents health—the same goes for the rest of your body. Sure, slimness is attractive in modern western culture, but only as long as it belies a healthy approach to diet and exercise as opposed to the opposite.

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3. Other people have no idea what hot is.__